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Sunday 5 February 2023 Dublin: 9°C

# Satire

All time
# Opinion
Column: Cardinal Rules - On Bertie Ahern vs Steven Seagal
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland was torn between the Bertie interview and a Steven Seagal movie on TV – and learned that the two men are not as far apart as you would think…
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Oct 28th 2011, 9:00 PM
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules - Making sense of this crazy world
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland copes with the break-up of the wholesome group Boyslife – and the reunion of the Stone Roses.
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Oct 21st 2011, 8:30 PM
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules – There’s a guy outside my Tesco swears he’s Jesus
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland has a house guest – a bearded young man who wears sandals and speaks in Biblical tones. It couldn’t be… could it?
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Sep 30th 2011, 8:59 PM
# The Onion
Has The Onion gone too far with #CongressHostage story?
A ‘news story’, tweets and now a video falsely claim there is a hostage situation involving young children at the United States Congress building in Washington. It has not gone down well in some quarters.
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Sep 29th 2011, 7:20 PM
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules – on Sinn Fein’s presidential campaign
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland is greeted by the Martin McGuinness supporters – but it all goes terribly wrong…
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Sep 23rd 2011, 8:30 PM
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules – on the annual trip to Knock
This week, the (not) Primate of All-Ireland brings the priests on their annual pilgrimage to the Mayo shrine. But is one of his clerical flock tempted by a (not ‘Our’) Lady?
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Sep 19th 2011, 7:00 PM
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules – On keeping the FF dream alive…
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland blesses a new hotel for old pal and ex-Fianna Fáil TD Mattie O’Moore – and learns a little about humility and the value of the JobBridge scheme.
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Sep 2nd 2011, 7:00 PM
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules – On tour with Il Papa
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland heads to Madrid to see his Holiness work the crowd and find his inner rock star.
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Aug 27th 2011, 12:00 PM
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules – Croagh Patrick for purists
This week, the (not) Primate of All-Ireland details the trials of the recent Reek Sunday – where fun has started to ruin the penitential tradition beloved of (not) Bishop Brophy.
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Aug 5th 2011, 7:00 PM
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules – On defending Morrissey
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland has to play peacekeeper in the terrible row over Morrissey: “an undisputed genius” or “a big mountain of stupid”?
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Jul 29th 2011, 8:20 PM
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules – What happens in Lourdes, stays in Lourdes…
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland embarks on the annual parish pilgrimage… but will everyone get home safely?
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Jul 22nd 2011, 7:01 PM
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules – The lesser-known story of Zacchaeus
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland retells the tale of the short tax collector who climbed a fig tree to see Jesus – but wasn’t so hot on inviting Him back to the house for dinner…
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Jul 15th 2011, 9:00 PM
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules - Keep your Oxegen, we have Priestopalooza...
The (not) Primate of All-Ireland has no intention of heading to Punchestown this weekend – he’s still recovering from a Declan Nerney-inspired stampede at the ‘Weekend for Jesus’ music and prayer festival…
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Jul 8th 2011, 5:19 PM
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules - On helping the Pope to tweet
This week, the (not) Primate of All-Ireland is drafted in to help his Holiness to get to grips with Twitter. “He receives a tweet from the Dalai Lama. ‘Dude,’ it says. We just ignore it.”
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Jul 1st 2011, 7:00 PM
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules – On how to organise a social media protest
This week, the (not) Primate of All-Ireland tries to mobilise The Bebo, The Twitter and The Facebook to protest against a “shocking” art exhibition.
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Jun 24th 2011, 6:05 PM
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules (Part 28) - On my pal Padre Pio
This week, the (not) Primate of All-Ireland marks the anniversary of Padre Pio’s canonisation with his recollections of their boyhood friendship… and their caravan holiday in Tramore.
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Jun 17th 2011, 12:55 PM
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules (Part 27) - On the presidential campaign trail
(Not) Cardinal Sean Brady recounts one eventful day on the campaign trail as Bridie Keegan pushes to become president.
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Jun 11th 2011, 11:57 AM
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules (Part 26) - Running the Parish newsletter
The Not Primate of All Ireland hands over the running of the newsletter to a colleague. Hilarity, inevitably, insues.
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Jun 5th 2011, 10:54 AM
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules (Part 25) On breaking bread with the Queen
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland records the royal goings-on at the State dinner for Queen Elizabeth II at Dublin Castle. “I eventually manage to distract Enda Kenny with the bread basket…”
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May 20th 2011, 5:46 PM
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules (Part 24) On the joy unconfined of watching Jedward
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland relates the excitement among the Fathers as they settled in for last night’s nailbiting Eurovision semi-final: “We decide to do the Rosary early to get it out of the way…”
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May 13th 2011, 3:12 PM
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules (Part 23) On the beatification of Pope John Paul II
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland gives us a peek at his diary from the Vatican last weekend:”We are as excited as a bunch of schoolgirls on their way to a Cliff Richard concert”.
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May 6th 2011, 10:23 AM
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules (Part 22) Liveblogging the British royal wedding
This week, the (Not) Primate of All Ireland gave us a blow-by-blow account of the action from (almost) inside Westminster Abbey.
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Apr 29th 2011, 3:37 PM
AS IT HAPPENED
(Not) Cardinal Brady’s liveblog from the royal wedding
TheJournal.ie’s resident columnist and spiritual leader gives us his blow-by-blow account of Kate and Wills’ Big Day from (just outside) Westminster Abbey.
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Apr 29th 2011, 12:30 PM
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules (Part 21) A guide to Christian relics
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland presents his guide to the lesser-known Christian relics, such as the Holy Mallet and Saint Paul’s Hanky.
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Apr 22nd 2011, 7:39 PM
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules (Part 20) The Story of Derek
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland prepares us for Easter Week with the little-known story of Derek, the 13th – and possibly least-loved – apostle.
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Apr 15th 2011, 7:28 PM
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules Part 19. The news gospel according to Me.
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland brings us his take on the news stories of the past seven days. Gay cavemen, Kevin Myers and the discovery of a digital relic of St Therese – now THAT’s what he calls a headline.
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Apr 8th 2011, 2:10 PM
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules Part 18. Diary of a priest stuck in a confessional.
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland brings us exclusive extracts from Fr Brendan Phelan’s short but intense journal, Without Hope, about his five days locked in a confession box.
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Apr 1st 2011, 4:23 PM
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules Part 17. How to handle a scandal.
The (not) Primate of All Ireland imparts his hard-earned wisdom on how to cope with the fallout of scandalous revelations. Jazz hands are an important distraction tool.
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Mar 25th 2011, 1:22 PM
# Bunga Bunga Pizza
‘Bunga Bunga’ pizza satirises Berlusconi scandal
The ‘spicy and wild pizza’ is a satirical comment on the alleged sex parties that Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi is said to have hosted at one of his villas.
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Mar 17th 2011, 6:30 AM
# Oops
Fox News falls for Islamic ban on padded bras hoax
News organisation took satirical site’s story about push to ban padded bras because “they make the breasts look bigger and perky” as fact.
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Mar 14th 2011, 11:43 AM
Voices
Cardinal Rules Part 6: On the birth of Jesus
The Not Primate of All-Ireland retells the story of the shepherds as they meet the awkwardly-titled Lamb of God.
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Dec 25th 2010, 7:31 AM
Voices
Cardinal Rules Part 5: An occasional column (not) by the Primate of All Ireland, healer and crisp fan
As Christmas 2010 draws close, (not) Cardinal Sean Brady shares his memories of a Christmas past.
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Dec 20th 2010, 1:19 PM
Voices
Cardinal Rules Part 4: An occasional column (not) by the Primate of All Ireland, healer and crisp fan
To get you all into the festive spirit, our satirical columnist presents a pre-Christmas story from the Bible: The Visitation.
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Dec 14th 2010, 1:51 PM
Voices
Cardinal Rules Part 3: An occasional column (not) by the Primate of All Ireland, healer and crisp fan
In which our hero meditates on the nature of pain, suffering, sainthood – and concludes that Dermot Ahern is doing it all wrong.
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Dec 6th 2010, 6:48 PM
Voices
Cardinal Rules Part 2: An occasional column (not) by the Primate of All Ireland, healer and crisp fan
Paul Krugman might evoke Jonathan Swift, but our satirical columnist goes back to the much more recent future to explain what went wrong with the Irish economy.
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Nov 26th 2010, 4:52 PM
Voices
Cardinal Rules: An occasional column (not) by the Primate of All Ireland, healer and crisp fan
The writer behind the satirical @CardinalBrady Twitter account casts an acerbic eye over Dick Roche’s recent media performances.
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Nov 22nd 2010, 9:34 AM
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