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Sunday 5 February 2023 Dublin: 9°C

# Satire

All time
# Opinion
Column: Cardinal Rules - On Bertie Ahern vs Steven Seagal
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland was torn between the Bertie interview and a Steven Seagal movie on TV – and learned that the two men are not as far apart as you would think…
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules - Making sense of this crazy world
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland copes with the break-up of the wholesome group Boyslife – and the reunion of the Stone Roses.
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules – There’s a guy outside my Tesco swears he’s Jesus
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland has a house guest – a bearded young man who wears sandals and speaks in Biblical tones. It couldn’t be… could it?
# The Onion
Has The Onion gone too far with #CongressHostage story?
A ‘news story’, tweets and now a video falsely claim there is a hostage situation involving young children at the United States Congress building in Washington. It has not gone down well in some quarters.
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules – on Sinn Fein’s presidential campaign
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland is greeted by the Martin McGuinness supporters – but it all goes terribly wrong…
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules – on the annual trip to Knock
This week, the (not) Primate of All-Ireland brings the priests on their annual pilgrimage to the Mayo shrine. But is one of his clerical flock tempted by a (not ‘Our’) Lady?
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules – On keeping the FF dream alive…
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland blesses a new hotel for old pal and ex-Fianna Fáil TD Mattie O’Moore – and learns a little about humility and the value of the JobBridge scheme.
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules – On tour with Il Papa
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland heads to Madrid to see his Holiness work the crowd and find his inner rock star.
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules – Croagh Patrick for purists
This week, the (not) Primate of All-Ireland details the trials of the recent Reek Sunday – where fun has started to ruin the penitential tradition beloved of (not) Bishop Brophy.
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules – On defending Morrissey
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland has to play peacekeeper in the terrible row over Morrissey: “an undisputed genius” or “a big mountain of stupid”?
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules – What happens in Lourdes, stays in Lourdes…
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland embarks on the annual parish pilgrimage… but will everyone get home safely?
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules – The lesser-known story of Zacchaeus
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland retells the tale of the short tax collector who climbed a fig tree to see Jesus – but wasn’t so hot on inviting Him back to the house for dinner…
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules - Keep your Oxegen, we have Priestopalooza...
The (not) Primate of All-Ireland has no intention of heading to Punchestown this weekend – he’s still recovering from a Declan Nerney-inspired stampede at the ‘Weekend for Jesus’ music and prayer festival…
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules - On helping the Pope to tweet
This week, the (not) Primate of All-Ireland is drafted in to help his Holiness to get to grips with Twitter. “He receives a tweet from the Dalai Lama. ‘Dude,’ it says. We just ignore it.”
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules – On how to organise a social media protest
This week, the (not) Primate of All-Ireland tries to mobilise The Bebo, The Twitter and The Facebook to protest against a “shocking” art exhibition.
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules (Part 28) - On my pal Padre Pio
This week, the (not) Primate of All-Ireland marks the anniversary of Padre Pio’s canonisation with his recollections of their boyhood friendship… and their caravan holiday in Tramore.
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules (Part 27) - On the presidential campaign trail
(Not) Cardinal Sean Brady recounts one eventful day on the campaign trail as Bridie Keegan pushes to become president.
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules (Part 26) - Running the Parish newsletter
The Not Primate of All Ireland hands over the running of the newsletter to a colleague. Hilarity, inevitably, insues.
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules (Part 25) On breaking bread with the Queen
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland records the royal goings-on at the State dinner for Queen Elizabeth II at Dublin Castle. “I eventually manage to distract Enda Kenny with the bread basket…”
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules (Part 24) On the joy unconfined of watching Jedward
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland relates the excitement among the Fathers as they settled in for last night’s nailbiting Eurovision semi-final: “We decide to do the Rosary early to get it out of the way…”
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules (Part 23) On the beatification of Pope John Paul II
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland gives us a peek at his diary from the Vatican last weekend:”We are as excited as a bunch of schoolgirls on their way to a Cliff Richard concert”.
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules (Part 22) Liveblogging the British royal wedding
This week, the (Not) Primate of All Ireland gave us a blow-by-blow account of the action from (almost) inside Westminster Abbey.
AS IT HAPPENED
(Not) Cardinal Brady’s liveblog from the royal wedding
TheJournal.ie’s resident columnist and spiritual leader gives us his blow-by-blow account of Kate and Wills’ Big Day from (just outside) Westminster Abbey.
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules (Part 21) A guide to Christian relics
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland presents his guide to the lesser-known Christian relics, such as the Holy Mallet and Saint Paul’s Hanky.
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules (Part 20) The Story of Derek
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland prepares us for Easter Week with the little-known story of Derek, the 13th – and possibly least-loved – apostle.
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules Part 19. The news gospel according to Me.
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland brings us his take on the news stories of the past seven days. Gay cavemen, Kevin Myers and the discovery of a digital relic of St Therese – now THAT’s what he calls a headline.
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules Part 18. Diary of a priest stuck in a confessional.
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland brings us exclusive extracts from Fr Brendan Phelan’s short but intense journal, Without Hope, about his five days locked in a confession box.
Voices
Column: Cardinal Rules Part 17. How to handle a scandal.
The (not) Primate of All Ireland imparts his hard-earned wisdom on how to cope with the fallout of scandalous revelations. Jazz hands are an important distraction tool.
# Bunga Bunga Pizza
‘Bunga Bunga’ pizza satirises Berlusconi scandal
The ‘spicy and wild pizza’ is a satirical comment on the alleged sex parties that Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi is said to have hosted at one of his villas.
# Oops
Fox News falls for Islamic ban on padded bras hoax
News organisation took satirical site’s story about push to ban padded bras because “they make the breasts look bigger and perky” as fact.
Voices
Cardinal Rules Part 6: On the birth of Jesus
The Not Primate of All-Ireland retells the story of the shepherds as they meet the awkwardly-titled Lamb of God.
Voices
Cardinal Rules Part 5: An occasional column (not) by the Primate of All Ireland, healer and crisp fan
As Christmas 2010 draws close, (not) Cardinal Sean Brady shares his memories of a Christmas past.
Voices
Cardinal Rules Part 4: An occasional column (not) by the Primate of All Ireland, healer and crisp fan
To get you all into the festive spirit, our satirical columnist presents a pre-Christmas story from the Bible: The Visitation.
Voices
Cardinal Rules Part 3: An occasional column (not) by the Primate of All Ireland, healer and crisp fan
In which our hero meditates on the nature of pain, suffering, sainthood – and concludes that Dermot Ahern is doing it all wrong.
Voices
Cardinal Rules Part 2: An occasional column (not) by the Primate of All Ireland, healer and crisp fan
Paul Krugman might evoke Jonathan Swift, but our satirical columnist goes back to the much more recent future to explain what went wrong with the Irish economy.
Voices
Cardinal Rules: An occasional column (not) by the Primate of All Ireland, healer and crisp fan
The writer behind the satirical @CardinalBrady Twitter account casts an acerbic eye over Dick Roche’s recent media performances.